Gideon knew he had taken the corner too fast as the car careened off the embankment. Gideon knew this was serious the moment he felt the vertebrae snap in his neck. Gideon knew he was dead when his vision went black.
Gideon knew also that time didn’t stop. He could feel the moments passing. He felt space stretch out before him he could still feel the universe around through him. However now he was no longer corporeal. He could move without the need of having a physical presence. Which was fantastic! It was the greatest sensation he had ever felt and he realized that it wasn’t a physical sensation but a mental one.
He was now free from having a body and the worry of self preservation. What was left to preserve? Nothing, he thought. He had did it. He had transcended his mortal presence without losing his sentience but now what were the rules?
Was he now a ghost doomed to haunt the living? Could he find the right house to haunt if he was? However he didn’t have a haunting feeling whatever that was supposed to feel like.
Was imprisoned on this stretch of highway curve, forever driving his car over the edge. There would be the odd passerby that would report the sighting.
Yep, and the local townsfolk would just say that was old Gideon still trying to make that curve. Though he didn’t feel like it was imperative for him to prove that to himself. He knew he was going too fast and it was stupid of him to think otherwise. And he didn’t see any ghost car waiting anywhere.
His vision began to return and he could now see that he floating above the crash site. There already emergency personnel on the scene trying to resuscitate the poor shell that once was Gideon’ body. But from what Gideon could see of what was left of his body coming back was not going to happen.
He pushed himself toward his body but would keep passing through it as he was not able to stop and hold himself inside his body anymore. He would just slip over it like when you put the same poles of two magnets together. He felt repelled…and it was by himself ironically.
As Gideon remembered his life as it was then he began to wonder about this life as it is now.
And he could feel himself begin to rise into the air. He could not feel the air anymore but again to rise higher and higher until …there was a glowing light above him. IT was a point of light calling to him and he was getting closer and closer. The point turned into a ball that became a sphere growing into the size of the planet he was just noticing he had left.
The light had a warmth and attractiveness that he could not quite define only that he wanted to be part of it. To bath in the brilliance of this magnificent illumination that made him feel safe and ….he struck something and bounced back like a ball. Some invisible force was keeping him away. He struggled against it using muscles that didn’t exist anymore against something he could not fathom. He told himself it was futile but really he thought it was getting boring.
Yet another metaphysical let down. What a surprise. so if this was judgement day where was the tribunal or court that sentenced him to damnation. Wasn’t there supposed to be some drama that either blessed or cursed him to some eternity.
But there wasn’t. Maybe this was that middle place the religions talked about…purgatory. Right.
Still didn’t feel right though, without some formal declaration to frame this experience it was just left up to him to define what this was…or wasn’t.
So he began traveling around the thing. Occasionally bouncing off whatever barrier there was. Think scientifically he told himself. Gather data and analyse to construct the hypothesis.
Let’s start out with what this isn’t. This is not a physical universe anymore yet this barrier seemed to imply there was some force at work here. He didn’t sense any guidance was moving him only his own curiosity. Without having to deal with cold or heat or hunger is exceptional experience and was reasonable that it could only be appreciated fully after living in the mortal world.
Did I just use the term “mortal” he thought. Am I immortal then?
That remained to be seen as there may be strong conjecture but it was only subjective brought about by hyperbole. And then there was the matter of the absence of other souls for the lack of a better word. He had not seen or sensed may be the better word anyone or anything else than the glowing sphere.
But would he be able to sense anything without senses. He knew he could see but it wasn’t by using eyes it was more a clarity of perception concerning the things around him. The perception didn’t move but appeared scene around him like the sphere.
Behind him and beyond the sphere were what appeared faint clouds that shimmered with their own lights and he could see movement. Maybe that was the judgement hall and he had just come in the back way he thought. There was hope for answers yet.
As he approached a cloud it began to reveal shapes of great columned structures and golden glow and what appeared as a gigantic gate. Then he could make out forms walking and flying around and it was very much like those biblical scenes we are so familiar with.
On the horizon of that he saw another sphere of blackened reddish cloud with the same architectural features like columns and arches and stairs but at impossible angles like an Escher drawing.
And yet another of these spheres had lush gardens, another of gilded gold, another of silver. On and on it went these massive collections of perceptions that seemed populated and peaceful but not aware of the other. He saw the trap that is was for the believers that imprisoned themselves either by grace or damnation into a destiny that was finite.
But he could see these to be infinite combinations from infinite sources. The realization of the nature of an infinite universe became apparent. The variations couldn’t end…there was no possible way for infinity to end since once it was defined the universe then changed it’s state or nature or essence to become something else. Something infinite.
Such is our place in this ever moving and ever changing universe.
As the truth took over his consciousness he could see and feel all things and people in the universe now. The differences didn’t matter as it is our uniqueness that makes us equal. Each fulfilling roles as they are created by the response of creating the role itself. A cycle of consciousness in a variety that cannot end in a timeless void of awareness.
Was this the role of mortality to include a finality or the experience of an end to something that had none. He thought that would indeed complete the logic. If the universe was infinite as well as consciousness it responded by creating finite or limited experiences. The physical universe was only one possible variation of infinity. The other variations became known as an afterlife and seen as the goal or eventual outcome of physical existence. But it was the other way around.
Physical existence is an anomaly in a universe that does not and cannot end. He was in his natural or original state now and it made more sense to him now after living the life he had as a “mortal”. Now he could fully appreciate the timelessness that infinity held with all it’s combination and variation because he had learned what it was to be limited.
With the contentment of that realization it occurred to Gideon that his role had been accomplished. No matter what he had done in that mortal existence it was completed and the need for survival had passed.
That is when the being who was once called Gideon by parents, friends, and lovers became that which is called I am.
Gideon’s body then let out it’s final breath.